by Unju

As we move into the holidays again, most of us will find ourselves in at least one place we don’t really want to be. It may be an office party or an awkward visit with relatives. I wanted to remind you- It's all in how you look at it.

Imagine an old photograph, yellow and faded. If you put that picture in a sleek, modern frame it will appear old, worn out, and out of place. If you put it in a vintage style wooden frame, it will look antique, nostalgic, and valuable. The picture did not change; the context surrounding the picture changed.

It is the same for people when they 'reframe'.

Imagine someone visiting their in-laws during the holidays. In this person's case it's a challenge since the family is not active and does not talk much. They could easily expect a boring time ahead.  However, other possibilities are revealed when they reframe:

• It's a chance to do some reading.
• It's a chance to take the lead in doing things.
• Their patience with the 'boring' in-laws can be a token of how they love their spouse.

The fact that the in-laws don't do or say much has not changed. What has become different is the way the situation is seen.

Notice that reframing is not 'Seeing the bright side of things". That old phrase implies ignoring the reality of a situation. In reframing, you fully acknowledge that a problem is a problem; you then make a conscious effort to look at it from a different point of view to find a positive outcome.

Try it this month. Didn't get the clothes you wanted for Christmas? Good! Now you can do an exchange and get the perfect size and color.  Is a conversation with family members moving toward old, hurtful topics? Alright! Take a moment to cherish how far you've evolved past those same topics.

Reframing works. It can make a tough time become helpful; and allow an impossible time to become survivable.

 So change your frame and change your world.